I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Farmville is her only friend.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize