alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Randomize
