It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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