worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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