And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize