Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
