YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
