Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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