We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize