I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
