im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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