if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
