You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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