Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
