Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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