I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
