she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
