she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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