also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
