I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
