Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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