i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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