I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize