I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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