Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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