i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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