Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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