I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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