The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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