My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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