benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
