Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize