grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
