I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Randomize
