the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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