Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
