Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Found the puke drawer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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