Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
