he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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