Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
