real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
