you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize