Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
