You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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