i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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