it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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