I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
