would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
