i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Randomize
