toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if i can run in heels then i can drive
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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