some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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