Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
