I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
