If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
