Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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