Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
