even my farts smell like vagina
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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