i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
