I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
