I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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