Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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