New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize