I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize